On Feeling Stuck

Feeling stuck can be frustrating. Lucky for you, I have some steps you can take to wiggle yourself out of this feeling.

Step 1 – DO NOT compare yourself to others. This is a lifelong lesson that so many of us ignore for too long. Your life is not their life. Everyone walks this Earth under different circumstances. Focus on your own path.

Step 2 – Do something new! When you aren’t happy with the status quo, it’s time to forge your way through the unknown. The cool thing about doing new things is that it can increase your odds of having a long and healthy life. I’ve recently been reading a lot about neurobiology, and it seems that, contrary to what was believed before, we can create new neural pathways in our brain and create new neurons! How do we do that? We do new things! Stimulating neurogenesis is a big deal! Learning and growing is what keeps us young at heart, and young in the brain.

Step 3 – Envision the world you want to live in. Slowly, every day, make a change that orients you in the direction of that life. It could be tiny, but small changes every day lead to big changes over time. Imagine yourself walking through your dream life. If you can dream it, you can do it.

Step 4 – Make a list of all the things you have accomplished so far in this life. It’s tough when you feel like everyone is being celebrated, but you. So, celebrate yourself! What have you done? Graduate school? Gotten employee of the month? Paid your rent on time? Read 10 books this year? You are the sum of all these great things. Don’t forget to acknowledge your accomplishments.  

Step 5 – Call a friend. I mean a real friend. Call someone you feel like you can tell anything to. Call them and tell them how you’re feeling. Sometimes a little ego boost from your bestie does wonders. I make it through every challenging time in my life with the support of my cheer squad. If you don’t know who they are in your life, look for the people who are smiling when you are doing well.

Step 6 – Practice gratitude. This is all the rage right now for a reason. When you can express your gratitude, feel how that feels in your body, there is a huge release of happy neurochemicals. You deserve that. Building a gratitude practice into your daily routine will encourage change in all the right ways. You’ll feel lighter, happier, and more fulfilled.

I know it can feel overwhelming when we have expectations of ourselves that don’t match the reality of the life we are currently living. I know that it can be lonely when our friend circle shifts and changes. This will always happen throughout life. The trick is to learn how to surf the waves of change. It sounds like change is just what you need right now. Surfs up!

—photo by Deb Halbot