Supporting Children Going Back to School

—by Zoe Fysikoudi, Registered Psychotherapist

Recently, I spent my holidays in Greece, my country of origin. As our time with family and friends drew to a close, I felt a mix of sadness at saying goodbye and excitement at returning home to my puppy, friends, and work. This experience made me reflect on children going back to school and managing transitions and changes in general.

1. Follow a Balanced Routine
   Children and youth have basic needs that must be met to help them self-regulate. Ensuring a balanced diet, outdoor activities, sufficient sleep, and maintaining social connections can fill your child’s resiliency bucket, supporting their mental and emotional well-being. A routine that balances schoolwork, playtime, and rest helps children feel secure and understood.
2. Create a Space for Expression
   We might worry that discussing difficult subjects, such as returning to school, will make the experience more challenging for children. However, providing a space for them to express their feelings and worries helps them feel understood, seen, and heard. Normalizing their experiences reassures them that they are not alone.

   Encourage open conversations by asking questions about their day and feelings. “How do you feel about going back to school?” or “What are you looking forward to?” can open up discussions that allow children to share their thoughts. Listen actively and validate their feelings. Saying things like, “It’s okay to feel nervous about meeting new classmates” or “I understand that you miss your summer vacation” helps them feel supported.

3. Encourage Questions and Address Worries
   Encourage your child to voice their concerns and ask questions about their new school, teacher, routine, or friends. They might wonder about things like the layout of the school, the rules, or how to navigate their schedule.

   Providing any available information and creating a structure with clear expectations can be very helpful. These discussions can occur naturally during car rides, shopping trips, bath-time, or dinner. Even if you don’t have all the answers, offering a listening ear makes a huge difference.

4. Prepare Them for What to Expect
   Using social stories or role-playing to ease children’s worries about new situations can be beneficial. Narrating, co-creating or acting out a story about going back to school can help them find their own resolutions. Discussing potential scenarios and brainstorming solutions together, even through playful or humorous ideas, helps children feel more prepared and confident. This practice can build their confidence and provide them with strategies to use in real life.

   Visual aids like picture schedules or checklists can also help children understand what to expect and reduce anxiety about the unknown. Remind them that they are capable of handling tricky situations.

5. Highlight Positive Aspects
   When children worry, negative thoughts can dominate their perception. Asking them to think of three things they are excited about on their first day can shift their focus to positive aspects. This can include small joys like a special snack or seeing friends, helping to balance their worries with anticipation.

   Create a list together of all the things they enjoy about school, such as favorite subjects, recess, or after-school activities. Celebrate small successes and milestones, whether it’s completing their first homework assignment or making a new friend, to reinforce positive experiences.

6. Practice Calming Strategies and Positive Self-Talk
   Teaching relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, visualization of a happy place/ memory, or listening to favorite songs, can help children manage anxiety. Experiment with different methods to find what works best for your child and practice them together. Incorporating these practices into their daily routine can help them develop coping skills that they can use throughout their lives.
   Additionally, practicing positive self-talk statements like, “This feeling is uncomfortable, but it won’t last forever,” or “I can do hard things,” can empower them during tough times.

Final Note to Parents
We’ve all navigated challenging times, and with patience and support, we can help our children do the same. It’s important to take care of yourself as well, as your well-being directly impacts your ability to support your child. Reach out to other parents, teachers, or support groups if you need advice or a listening ear. Remember, you are not alone.

Zoe Fysikoudi is a Registered Psychotherapist and owner of Expressive Minds Therapy. Zoe works therapeutically with children, youth and their families and meets them at Cocoon Orillia in Orillia and Rooted in Counselling in Bracebridge. 

For more information, you can also visit her site at www.expressive-minds.com.