Mental Health Journeying

—by Zoe Fysikoudi

I was inspired to write a story about anxiety in this issue’s mental health journeying. Storytelling helps us make sense of the world around us and understand our experiences or abstract meanings in a safe and non-direct way. It also facilitates an emotional connection with our experiences and creates a bridge between integrating both sides of the brain and between mind and body. No wonder why, as children, we loved to hear and create stories. Hope you enjoy the short story as much as I did while writing it.

A story about anxiety

Hey everyone! This is Vicious Anxiety and I want to introduce myself to you. My name was given by Me.

First of all, you may never see me around. I stay well hidden from others, and I am a part of Me. I take different sizes, shapes and forms within Me, and sometimes Me wants to get rid of me as I tend to be overwhelming (hence the name Vicious Anxiety).

I also have heard there are several different ‘anxieties’ (this is what we are called?) around, and they go by different names, have different sizes, different skills and qualities. I realize though that we are unique to every person. Just like my name is unique and I have unique qualities.

The first thing I want to tell you about me is that I play two roles and sometimes it is difficult to stay away from one role or the other. I will give you an example. Last week, Me had to take a test and I really helped them to study, they took notes and revised, and they asked for help when needed. And you know what? They nailed the test. Me were so proud of them. When they came back home from school, they danced, and they were smiling the whole evening! I heard their mom saying that this is a Healthy – Helpful Anxiety or something.

And then, Me had to do a presentation in front of the class. And this is the part where I take over the other role. I know Me does not like speaking in front of the class, let alone doing presentations. So, I tried to protect them by voicing to them all the reasons not to do it.

And the more I wanted to protect them, the more I was finding dangers and risks around this presentation. For example, what if they lose their voice? Or make a mistake? Or not do a good job? To protect them, I also invaded their sleep and reminded them of not being safe to do the presentation.

The next day, Me woke up sick, their stomach was upset, and they were vomiting. They became scared and then I tried to help them by reminding them that they were not well, and they could not do the presentation.

And I came up with a brilliant idea! They could avoid it and stay home! Anything to keep them safe.

The more I was thinking it, the more I was convinced that the best idea was to avoid the presentation. They would not have to worry about not being good enough, feeling embarrassed or incompetent or like a failure. And I need to protect them from all these feelings and situations!

I noticed that the more I was thinking about it, the more energized I was becoming inside Me!  

What a difference though, right? When I get energized and work at a fast pace, Me becomes less energetic, they do not want to do anything, they feel tired and stay in bed, sometimes even crying. And when I go slowly and gently, like the example with the exams, Me is getting energized, working hard and putting effort in their work and they smile a lot.     

Hm, it is nice to see them smile. I am wondering how I can help them and at the same time protect them. I promise to come back to this in the next issue…stay tuned! 

A final note

If you or someone close to you experiences anxiety, you can try creating your own character and externalizing the experience. Externalization of feelings helps us to become aware of them and understand them. We are not focusing so much on the outcome/ solution, but the process of connecting with our inner wisdom and resources.

And if you liked the story, feel free to spread the word of storytelling. If you do write a story, I would love to read it!

Zoe Fysikoudi is a Registered Psychotherapist and owner of Expressive Minds Therapy. Zoe works therapeutically with children, youth and their families and meets them at Cocoon Orillia in Orillia and Rooted in Counselling in Bracebridge. 

For more information, you can also visit her site at www.expressive-minds.com.