The Lost Art of Penpalship

by | December 2022

I have always enjoyed writing letters. Maybe it’s a love of writing, in general. Diaries as a kid, postcards to friends from camp, passing notes in history class or putting notes in my friends’ lockers; all ways to express myself and show others that I care.

When the pandemic hit in 2020, we were confused, just like everyone. We worried about loved ones. I felt a particular soft spot in my heart for our seniors who lived in congregate care settings. I remembered reading about a call for letters to seniors who were locked down in their retirement homes. My kids and I sent three generic notes, and later received three back, from different residents who lived at Trillium Manor, in Orillia. We kept the exchange going for a while, but one pen pal seemed to really enjoy the correspondence the most. Our relationship lasted two years!

We would write about our adventures, and she would write back about her life. She was married, had children and grandchildren. She served at summer camps. She loved to bake and told us of her chocolate zucchini loaf. She loved to garden and described the scenes outside her home. She told us of her Bible studies and what she was learning. She was thoughtful in sending birthday wishes. She was an avid knitter. She sent the kids two different sweater sets for Christmas and Easter, little slippers, and hats that she worked so hard on!

She became a grandmother-figure and friend. She wrote back and forth very diligently.

Then, there was a season when we didn’t hear from her. So naturally, we assumed the worst. We heard she had fallen and hurt her arm. So, she had staff help send us letters for a time.

And then the letters stopped. We recently heard from her daughter, saying she had passed away peacefully, and she thanked us for our kindness to her mother. But she had offered us so much kindness in return. And so, I grieved her passing, just like I would a grandmother.

It was so beautiful to have a pen pal. For my kids. And for myself. And as much as we would like to think our letters, crafts and knickknacks brought her joy, we loved receiving her letters just as much, as she taught us a lot about life in two years of writing back and forth. We never met in person, but enjoyed a few phone calls in between postal deliveries. We are thankful for our pen pal and know she is watching us from above.

I often think about our seniors. My own grandmother is in a season of transition, and consequently, sometimes isolation. Seniors have really felt the effects of the pandemic and are still feeling it today. There are still strict rules in many retirement and nursing homes, which can make having visitors a complicated process.

As we enter into another holiday season, I would encourage you to find ways to support seniors in our community. All we did was send one note with a simple greeting and it turned into something beautiful. Reach out to a local long term care home for some suggestions. There are also various programs like Santa for Seniors, which offer gifts to isolated seniors in the Orillia area. A small act of kindness can make a big difference for someone. If seniors are on your heart and mind, reach out to one today!

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